I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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