How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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