I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
