For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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