she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
