I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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