Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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