I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
