I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
