my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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