Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
