i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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