just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize