is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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