New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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