So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
