420 ftw
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Green mimosas i think yes
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
