how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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