What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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