I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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