I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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