I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
