are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
