i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
