the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
