it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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