my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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