Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
