Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize