I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
