I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We're too hungover to prance.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
