Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
God, I missed his penis.
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