Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
