how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
