You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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