What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
