I'm so fucking centered right now
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
