i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it was like having sex with a tree stump
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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