I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
