We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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