Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize