I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
