Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
