Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
