morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
