he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
