plz talk dirty to me
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
