I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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