No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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