Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
