Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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