But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
