i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
