I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
