i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So vagazzling was a success
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
