DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
