You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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