she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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