you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
