What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
