I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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