Where is the hickey?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
