dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
