Having a random hookup so left but love u
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
