It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
