So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
