if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize