Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize