Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
