I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
