I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize