Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
